...my ass.
I have to stop going to Subway. I am so fed up with getting angry over something so seemingly inconsequential. But it does matter. To me. And I really do try not to yell at the Sandwich "Artist" because I know they make diddly squat, and honestly, if I remember back to the minimum wage days, all I wanted to do was force myself through those horrible 6 hours I had to be away from my telephone and tv twice a week. Fuck your Big Mac. But I've always been slightly OCD, so I'm sure that means I was piling up people's burgers so they could enjoy a tasteful combination of all the things they expected on said Big Mac with every single bite.
Such is my problem. This is all I want. Maybe if I didn't actually get to see them put my sandwich together I would be better off. Like any other thing that would be easier if I just did it myself or just didn't watch the person doing it. But if I had it my way, I would narrate my Subway visit.
(Yes I am turning into a crazy person.)
Here would be my conversation points:
1. Have you ever eaten a sub before? (Please see questions 3-8)
2. If yes, do you typically like subs?
3. Could you please cut my sub in half and not shave a 2mm thin sliver off the top so all my veggies fall out and into my wrapper before I get them in my mouth?
4. Yes, by me naming 2 cheeses, that means I want them both, and in turn, that means extra. It also means I like cheese. See 6.
5. No, I normally do not like all of my sub stuffings straight down the crack of my sub. I would go to Taco Bell if I wanted a taco.
6. Could you please put the meat on ALL of the sub instead of just the first 3 inches?
7. I know gas prices have driven olive prices sky high, but, yes, I'll pay extra for more than 1 every 2 inches.
8. Who are these people who come in and order a cup of oil on their subs that make you think it's okay to turn my sub into a soggy turd? I bet they are greasy lipped motherfuckers.
God, I feel my face getting hot just reliving my last visit! But hey- If I'm going to pay a hefty price for these sandwiches, I expect quality. Well. Maybe not quality, but for chrissake, something I'm not gonna just take home and dump in the garbage. So for all of you who were stuck behind me in the lunch rush line at the subway across from Marathon last week, sorry for yhe delay. Maybe you can relate.......
